Your mind loops the highlight reel. Their laugh. That one perfect night. The way they said your name.
Then the horror show—what you should’ve said, what you should’ve done, what they might be doing now.
You analyze texts like scripture. Stalk their social media. Rewrite the past. They live rent-free in your head, while you pay in peace, sleep, sanity.
This isn’t love. It’s self-torture.
Marcus Aurelius buried his children. Ruled through plagues. Watched Rome fracture. Yet he wrote: “You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do.”
Your ex is not a barbarian horde. Your obsession is. Let’s burn it down. Here’s how.
The Cycle
- Trigger: A song. A scent. A silence.
- Reaction: Nostalgia → Rumination → Despair
- Cost: Present stolen. Future mortgaged. Self abandoned.
Tactic 1: Burn the Relics
“The universe is change; life is opinion.” — Marcus Aurelius
You’re hoarding memories? Cremate them.
- Physical: Gather every relic (photos, gifts, clothes). Burn or box them. No “maybe later.”
- Mental: Speak aloud: “The person I’m thinking of no longer exists.” (They don’t—the past is dead.)
Why this works: Fire severs neural loops. Ritual declares war on denial.
Tactic 2: Hijack the Pattern
“You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” — Marcus Aurelius
Thoughts spiral? Stop. Breathe. Now redirect.
- Physical: When memories surge, do 10 burpees. Suffocate sentiment with sweat.
- Mental: Replace “I miss…” with “I reclaim…” (Example: “I reclaim my focus.”)
Why this works: Physiology trumps psychology. Motion rewires mourning.
Tactic 3: Forge New Fires
“Forward. Always forward.” — Marcus Aurelius
You’re stuck in yesterday? Start building tomorrow.
- Physical: Learn a skill that terrifies you. Cold showers. Public speaking. Coding.
- Mental: Journal: “What did this loss free me to become?” Answer in ink, not tears.
Why this works: Growth mocks grief. New neural pathways starve old ghosts.
Brutal Truth
You think missing them means love. Truth: It means fear of facing yourself.
Stoic Protocol
- Dawn: 5 minutes of ice-cold exposure (shower, face plunge). Shock the system awake.
- Noon: 1 memory intercepted → 1 act of creation (write, build, move).
- Dusk: 1 sentence burned: “Today, I thought about ______.” Let smoke carry it.
Final Strike
A phoenix does not mourn its ashes—
It ignites.
Your wings are not clipped.
Your sky is not gone.